


Growing Apart

by TaraIsles



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraIsles/pseuds/TaraIsles
Summary: From Maura's perspective. After losing the baby, Jane begins to isolate from her friends and family. Maura feels like she lost her best friend and with Casey back in the picture, her hopes for Jane to love her back disappear. Not wanting to be in the way of her friend's happiness, the doctor gives her space while leaning on the Rizzoli's brothers (who still have a crush on her)
Relationships: Maura Isles & Jane Rizzoli, Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli, Maura Isles/Original Character
Kudos: 31





	1. Prologue

And there it was...

After the first angry outburst and compulsive cries afterwards, Jane was nowhere to be seen except at work.

Looking back, it's funny how the first month since she lost her baby was so easy -Denial. Maura should've known better. She saw glimpses of what was coming, but unlike her usual self, she put scientific studies aside and kept optimistic. Now, she couldn't stop feeling guilty about her friend's pain. She should have done more to show her support and cheer her up instead of trying to protect herself. Besides Jane, she was the one most excited about a baby...well, maybe except for Angela, but the two came pretty close. More than an aunt, she was ready to be like a second mother.

Maura archived some of the wallpaper samples for the baby's bedroom in her home and wondered what Jane was doing at that moment. The idea of texting her crossed her mind, but it's not like she would get an answer. She missed her insanely, but the more she tried to get her back in her life, the furthest Jane run. She called Frankie instead.

* * *

Less than five minutes was all it took for Frankie to invite her over. Maura had only been there a couple of times but never by herself. It truly was a cosy place. They sat on the sofa drinking beer...even Maura.

 **M** : "I hope I'm not imposing"

 **F** : "I invited you"

 **M** : "Thank you. So...how's Jane doing?"

 **F:** "I don't know. I was hoping she would at least talk to you"

 **M:** "Only if you count talking over dead bodies about their cause of death"

 **F:** "... what about you?"

 **M:** "What about me?"

 **F:** "Yeah, how're you doing?"

 **M:** "I... it's not my place"

 **F:** "She's your best friend, Maura. It's nothing but normal to feel how you're feeling"

 **M:** "I shouldn't. I'm being selfish"

 **F:** "You aren't"

Frankie held her hands on his and moved closer

 **M:** "Frankie..."

With that, he backed off. Maura felt relieved that he understood and tried to erase the moment from her memory

 **F:** "I'm sorry"

 **M:** "No, it's ok. No need to apologise"

 **F:** "There's something you need to know...Casey is back"

 **M:** "What!?"

 **F:** "Ma saw them together"

 **M:** "What the hell is he doing here?"

 **F:** "I know, trust me. I don't know what's going on, but I don't like it a bit"

 **M:** "Well, she's too fragile right now, if she doesn't want us around maybe that's a good thing"

 **F:** "Yeah, I guess. I just hope he won't make her do something she wouldn't otherwise"

* * *

Maura woke up, uncomfortably twitching, from the fabric on her face and lack of space, completely forgetting she never made it home. Last night, Frankie insisted that she should've taken the bed, but she would never take advantage of his kindness. He was indeed a fantastic human specimen. Angela had done a great job raising the siblings. All of them were amazing and exceptional in their way...they might not be the most well-read people, but they surely had the biggest heart. The doctor sat down and started stretching her neck in circles to relieve some build up tension.

 **F:** "Would you like some coffee?"

Maura turned around to see Frankie in his pyjamas sipping his drink. She gave him a big smile.

 **M:** "I would love to"

As she stood up and walked towards him, the front door opened. It was Jane. The detective looked at them in disbelief and slammed the door, immediately focusing on Maura.

 **J:** "What are you going here?"

 **M:** "I-"

 **J:** "Is this why you weren't home this morning?"

 **M:** "You went to my place?"

 **J:** "Okay, what's going on here?"

 **M:** "I don't understand what you're implying"

 **J:** "You're wearing yesterday's clothes, Maura. Did you sleep here?"

 **M:** "Jane, c'mon, it's not what you think"

 **J:** "We've been through this, didn't we decide that nothing would happen?"

 **M** : "It's not what you're thinking"

 **J:** "What is it then?"

 **M:** "I was feeling bored. We watched a movie and then I got too tired to drive"

 **J:** "So, instead of calling a taxi you stayed at my brother's, who you know has a giant crush on you"

 **M:** "Jane, that's absurd. He sees me as a sister"

 **J:** "Are you really that naive? And I AM his sister. You're not"

 **F:** "Jane, that's a bit..."

 **M:** "No, it's ok Frankie"

 **J:** "You're defending her? Really? I'm your sister"

 **F:** "Maura was concerned about you!"

 **M:** "Frankie, it's ok. Thank you for the coffee, but we'll leave it for next time. Goodbye Jane"

Without comprehending what was going on and being too anxious to hear them, Maura left fast.

She rushed to her car and got inside, fighting not to cry before doing so. When she did, she crossed her arms on the steering wheel and leaned her forehead against it, crying and trying to control her breath.


	2. "Your secret's safe with me"

A bottle of Bordeaux, vanilla candles and Epsom bath salts.

Usually, everything Maura needed in case of a crisis to calm herself down, but today it wasn't working. Even her favourite scientific journal was getting on her nerves. She dropped it by the tub she was in and closed her eyes, quietly sighing. Too exhausted to concentrate and too stressed to sleep.

A knock on the bedroom door made her jump in surprise.

**M:** "Yes?"

**A:** "Can I come in?"

**M:** "Oh! I guess so, but I'm in the tub"

Angela came in and made her way to the suite's bathroom, sitting on the toilet.

**A:** "So, what's the plan for tonight?"

**M:** "I didn't know I had to prepare one. Is something happening that I forgot?"

**A:** "No, just thought we could both use a girls' night out"

**M:** "Angela, I'm sorry. I'm not in good spirits today"

**A:** "Then, we stay inside and watch a movie. Haven't you been saying you wanna watch that Kevin Costner movie?"

**M:** "Yes, I suppose we can do it. We can also order pizza"

**A:** "Done! I was with Frankie and Jane today"

**M:** "How is she?"

**A:** "I've heard what happened this morning"

**M** : "Jane's way of dealing with the grieving is to express strong negative emotions towards the people closest to her. It's a very common copying mechanist"

**A:** "That still doesn't make it right. I'm gonna call her and make her apologize "

**M:** "Please, don't. I'm afraid that would make things worse and have her turn on you"

**A:** "Maura, you're like a second daughter to me. I don't like to see you this way"

**M:** "What way? I'm fine, Angela. There's really no need to worry"

**A:** "I live with you. I can see what's going on"

**M:** "We should be focusing on Jane right now. She needs it the most"

* * *

Maura always had problems with personal space and expressing her feelings. Maybe she was born that way, or maybe she learned it from observing her parents. Monkey see, monkey do. Everyone's guilty of it to a certain extent, no matter how high their IQ might be. But now there she was, sitting next to Angela with her head against her shoulder. If there was something Jane taught her during the past years was, undoubtedly, how to feel more comfortable with the human touch. Before her, the only people she dared to have psychical contact with were exes and one night stands.

**A:** "That Costner is really a hunk!"

**M:** "I must agree; he was quite good looking."

**A:** "What do you mean 'was'?!"

**M:** "Well-"

Laughing and with Angela offended by the remark, the doctor gets interrupted by the bell.

**M:** "I'm not expecting anyone. Did you call someone?"

**A:** "I'll get it"

Angela opened the door to see Frankie, allowing him in.

**A:** "Frankie! What are you doing here?"

**F:** "Hey, Ma. I came to see how Maura is."

**A:** "Well, as good as one can be. You know what?! It is past my bedtime. You kids have fun!"

**F:** "No, Ma, you don't have to go."

**A:** "Goodniiiiight!"

Frankie, confused, stared at his mother, leaving and then at Maura.

**M:** "What was that all about?"

He sat near her while she straightened herself—both smiling.

**F:** "Hey"

**M:** "Hey"

**F:** "I just wanted to make sure you were doing ok."

Maura felt his hand laying on her knee, reaching for her hand. For reasons strange to her, she found it to be comforting.

**M:** "Thank you."

**F:** "I...Look. I..."

Abruptly, he removed his hand from her and stared at the floor for a while.

**M:** "What is it, Frankie?"

**F:** "Ma, can't know this, ok? It's about Jane"

**M:** "Go on..."

**F:** "Casey proposed, again. She's considering it"

**M:** "No!"

The woman got up in shock and, agitated, started moving around.

**F:** "Maura..."

Frankie reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder, stroking it softly.

**M:** "They can't!"

With each hand on a different shoulder, he closed the gap between them and embraced her.

**M:** "I don't like to be hugged."

The words coming out of her mouth clashed with her reaction. Maura got a firm grip of his shirt and began crying. More than what she should and more than what he would, surely, not find odd but she couldn't restrain herself.

**M:** "She's too good for him."

**F:** "Casey is a good guy. I hate him too, but that's me speaking as a brother. I don't want him to take her away from us either, but if that's what she wants, that's how it will be."

**M:** "But she doesn't want to. Her job means everything to her"

**F:** "Maybe the baby changed her"

**M:** "You said it yourself last night. You were afraid he would make her do something she wouldn't do otherwise."

**F:** "I might have been wrong. The baby was a big deal. She might have realised she doesn't want the job to get in the way of having a family."

**M:** "It's too soon. She didn't have time to process what happened"

* * *

It was late, and none of them knew what time it was, but it felt like hours had passed. After a few cries and complaints, they both were, finally, able to calm themselves down. Maura prepared chamomile and lavender tea, and they sat on the table.

**M:** "Frankie, have you ever questioned yourself to why I told you we couldn't be together?"

**F:** "You're Jane's best friend. We work together, and you're part of the family."

**M:** "Yes, but why really?"

**F:** I'm confused."

**M:** "I don't know. It's just like...I don't see the point of anything right now. I don't care. For the first time in my life, I don't care."

**F:** "W-what?...You wanna be with me?"

**M:** "No. No, Frankie"

Maura shook her head and chuckled, then, gave him a sad smile.

**F:** "What is it then? You can tell me"

**M:** "I like someone."

**F:** "Th-that's great!"

**M:** "I genuinely like you, Tommy, too. You're both remarkable people, and I'm fortunate to have you in my life, but it's never going to happen, maybe in another life but not in this one. The person I like doesn't like me back, and, no matter how stupid this might sound I could never do that to them, it doesn't feel right. And I don't want to jeopardise my relationship with you either. You two are not some random guy I just met. I could never play with you. I would never forgive myself if I caused any pain."

Frankie reached for her hand, caressing it.

**F:** "The guy is a fool."

Maura softly chuckled and wiped a few tears that began running.

**M:** "They aren't."

He got up and moved near her and placed a small kiss on her head while rubbing her back.

**F:** "He is. It's getting late; I should go. Will you be fine?"

**M:** "Yes. Thank you, Frankie."

**F:** "Call me if you need anything, alright?"

**M:** "I-I know you won't, but can you not tell Jane any of this? She doesn't know it"

**F:** "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."


	3. "It's her"

Two coffees in the morning, an indulging non-nutritive lunch and the same puzzling case from the week before made a very disappointing Monday. At least Jane didn't seem angry at her anymore. Quite the opposite. Maura noticed it was odd, but she wasn't complaining. No matter how annoying it was to know this change was, probably, caused by Casey, she was glad her best friend felt better. On another note, it made her felt useless being one.

Maura sat at the Dirty Robber drinking wine and eating peanuts, waiting for the others and wishing for Jane to arrive shortly. It had been so long since the two hang out that she couldn't tell for sure if her hair had always looked this beautiful or if it was the time apart intensifying emotions. Either way, Jane looked even more astonishing than usual...she definitely had to start working on blocking these thoughts. Suddenly, Maura got tense and strengthened herself when she heard familiar voices approaching.

* * *

 **J:** "C'mon Maura! Chug it!"

 **M:** "We are working tomorrow!"

 **J:** "Fine! I'll drink it"

 **M:** "No!"

As Jane reached for the two shots, the doctor took one from her. Without thinking and in a swift move, she drank it. When Maura opened her eyes, after making a sickening face, she saw the woman smiling at her. Korsak and Frankie couldn't stop laughing.

 **M:** "This is terrible! I don't know how you can possibly like it"

 **J:** "Acquired taste"

Jane drank hers while Maura observed her closely. The way her dark wavy hair fell on her shoulders, her beautiful eyes and lashes, her big smile and lips. With the last image, she began blushing and realized she had been zone out for quite a while. She wanted physical contact; it had been too long...

 **J:** "Maura! Can't you hear what I'm saying?"

Jane laughed next to her, making her giggle in embarrassment.

 **M:** "Sorry! I was thinking about a study I read about today"

 **J:** "Does your brain ever stop?"

The doctor playfully slapped her arm and laughed at her overreacting response. She knew she was also only joking.

 **J:** "It really hurt Maura!"

 **M:** "Do you want me to check it?"

 **J:** "Nooo, I don't want you to check it"

 **M:** "You sure? I can take a quick look"

It made her relieved, seeing Jane carefree and happy. It was a start. Hopefully, everything would go back to being normal in no time.

 **J:** "Casey!"

Maura turned her head and saw Casey, immediately feeling nauseous. When she saw him kissing her friend, that was it. With her head spinning, a trembling lip and trying not to hyperventilate in a very humiliating way in front of everyone, the doctor looked nervously at her phone screen. Pretending to have received a text, she nervously stood up, tidying up her skirt and grabbed her handbag.

 **M:** "Sorry, something came up. Nice to see you Casey"

 **J:** "What? You really have to? We're having so much fun"

Unable to answer without giving herself away, she nodded staring at the floor, avoiding eye contact and walked away fast.

* * *

Sitting on the car, Maura turned the radio and started doing breathing exercises. A few seconds later, she stopped, gasped and grasped the steering wheel hard; trying to control herself by looking at the details on her boots—a knock on the window. After taking a deep breath, she took a look. Frankie... she really didn't have the patience for this. Not today. She needed and wanted to be alone. The doctor gestured to the passager seat and opened the door. He sat down and placed his hand on her forearm.

 **F:** "You ok?"

 **M:** "No, Frankie. Do I look ok to you?"

 **F:** "I'm sorry. What's wrong?"

 **M:** "I just...I don't know. Why are you here?"

 **F:** "Because you're my friend. What's bothering you? I know it's Casey"

 **M:** "I hate him"

 **F:** "I don't disagree with you either, but we have to try for Jane"

 **M:** "Not gonna happen"

 **F:** "Maura. I'm really trying hard to get you, but maybe you're overreacting a bit?"

 **M:** "It's...forget"

 **F:** "I know I'm not Jane, but you can talk to me."

 **M:** "I already did"

 **F:** "I'm confused..."

 **M:** "I told you I like someone"

 **F:** "What does that have anything to do with-"

 **M:** "Jane"

 **F:** "Yeah, I know the Jane situation has been hard, but what does that have to-"

 **M:** "It's Jane"

Frankie stared confused at her while she looked away. She didn't mean to tell him, or anyone at all but the frustration took over. Regretting what came out of her mouth and realizing the consequences, she knew there was no turning back. If she tried to, it would be a matter of time until he brought the conversation up. Even if he believed her tonight, it would be impossible for him not to notice her body language around Jane. Maura continued in a whisper.

 **M:** "It's her"

 **F:** "Oh!"

When both remained in silence for what seemed like a lifetime, tears started running down her cheeks while she stared outside the car; her body slightly turned away from him. He was going to hate her now. No more calls, no more hangouts, no more comfort. Everything about to be lost because she could never keep her honest mouth shut for too long. To be honest, she was surprised it didn't' happen sooner.

But then, she felt his hands on her shoulder and forearm, caressing her. Maura looked at him, relieved and surprised, allowing herself into him arms. He hugged her gently, rubbing her back while she cried.


	4. "I got a plan"

It was early morning and, like yesterday, there was still no new case.

Jane and Maura sat together in the cafeteria drinking coffee and having breakfast. Even if it didn't seem that way, the doctor was more agitated than usual. Finally, speaking her emotions out loud made her incredibly terrible. Everything felt very wrong and real. Before, it was easier to archive her feelings in the depths of her brain and not allow them in her thoughts significantly. It was easier to lie to herself and pretend the same didn't affect her. But now, she felt seen right through.

Besides being anxious about Jane finding out the truth, her mind kept playing tricks on her, convincing her that everyone knew her secret. What she was most afraid of was people thinking their friendship was a trick, and that all she was doing was trying to be in Jane's favour to get her in bed. Yet, what she was most afraid of was making her friend feel betrayed; when everything Maura wanted was to support all of her choices and see her achieving all she could dream of and more.

 **J:** "You left so fast last night. Did something happen?"

 **M:** "A colleague needed my help with a case."

 **J:** "You sure? You seemed quite off."

 **M:** "Yeah, I guess I was just tired."

 **J:** "You would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

 **M:** "Of course."

 **J:** "Promise?"

 **M:** "I'm ok, Jane."

 **J:** "Good. I want to apologize for Saturday. You and Frankie are grown-ups. I shouldn't be telling you what to do."

 **M:** "We're only friends."

 **J** : "Its fine, Maura. I was so worried about one of you getting hurt that I didn't consider your feelings. Frankie always falls hard, and you usually don't take things seriously, but I see it now. You two make a good couple."

 **M:** "We're not a couple."

 **J:** "Yet."

 **M:** "Frankie is a good friend, and I love him, but that's all he will ever be."

 **J:** "It's just...you guys seem so close. I feel like I've missed something in the past weeks."

 **M:** "You've been distant. A lot of things happened"

 **J:** "I'm sorry. I was being a jerk."

 **M:** "You don't need to apologize."

 **J:** "Yes, I do, Maura."

 **M:** "Something traumatic happened to you. Your reaction was completely acceptable. You're so used to always put everyone's needs above you that you forget how it is to put yourself as a priority. It's ok to be selfish sometimes, Jane. Especially in this case. We're not your obligation. We can take care of ourselves."

 **J:** "I...I wish I could've been a better friend."

 **M:** "You're the best friend someone could ever have, and I'm extremely lucky to have you in my life. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything else."

Maura reached for the detective's hand and held it tightly. Immediately, Jane did the same. Suddenly, the doctor's heart sank as she felt her friend's thumb drawing small circles on her wrist. Contact. This was the physical contact she so desperately needed. Maura gave her a weak smile while her breathing gradually became heavier and slower. Jane smiled back and gazed into her, making the doctor feel guilty about allowing her to touch her that way. Even if it wasn't her intention, sometimes part of her felt like she was taking advantage of her clueless friend. It was so wrong. With that thought, Maura quickly pulled away, grabbed her coffee and stood up.

 **M:** "I'll catch with you later."

* * *

It had been a long day, but it was finally time to go home. The best? Last week's case got solved.

All the doctor wanted to do was go home, take a relaxing bath, order _Confit de canard_ and watch something random on tv. Unless Jane wanted to do something. She hoped she did. On the other hand, she didn't. She had been so worried about her that she forgot about her own needs. Something, she kept accusing the detective of doing. In many ways, they were the same. Maybe that's why they had such a strong bond. No matter how exhausted Maura was, she would always end up doing everything Jane wanted to, to please her. And, now that she was probably marrying Casey, she couldn't afford to let any chance to be with her to pass. Jane didn't tell her about it yet, but the doctor knew it was only a matter of time.

Maura shut down her computer and neatened her work desk when she heard a knock.

Excited, Frankie walked in and closed the door behind him.

 **F:** "Ok, I got a plan! We need to get you to meet girls."

 **M:** "What?!"

 **F:** "Listen to this. When we were young, me and Tommy would have a boy's night every time one of us got rejected. That's what you need."

 **M:** "I'll pass."

 **F:** "C'mon! I'll be your wingman. It will be fun."

 **M:** "Thank you, Frankie, but I'm not into that sort of thing."

 **F:** "Think better, Maura. Drinks and women."

 **M:** "I don't wanna meet another woman."

 **F:** "It's just for fun. Maybe talking to someone new will get you to stop thinking about Jane for a minute."

 **M:** "I doubt it."

 **F:** "Maura...she is straight."

 **M:** "I know."

Suddenly, Jane entered the office, making the doctor look down in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. This was another one of her fears, and why she didn't want anyone to know she liked her. If her friend had come a few seconds earlier, she would have heard them talking about her. She was playing a dangerous game.

Confused, Jane stared at them.

 **J:** "Hey..."

 **M:** "Hi, Jane"

 **J:** "Hey...hmm...you know what? Nevermind. See you tomorrow."

 **M:** "No. Stay."

 **J:** "Nah, it's ok."

 **F:** "Jane, c'mon."

 **J:** "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

With that, the detective walked away.

 **F:** "I'm sorry."

 **M:** "It isn't your fault."

 **F:** "I'm really sorry."

 **M:** "You know what? I'm in it. How's Friday for you?"


	5. An old friend

For most people, this was their favourite night of the week. They would finish work and, meet with friends without worrying about having to wake up early on the next day. The weekend had arrived. As planned, Maura and Frankie went out in an attempt to make her forget about her problems for a minute. When he saw an advertisement for a queer womxn party, it got clear where they were going. The truth was that although there were a few LBGTQ+ spots in Boston, they heavily focused on gay men. So, it was not like they had many options to chose from.

Two hours had passed. Defeated, Maura sat on the couch Frankie was on. He had been watching her the whole night, making sure she was enjoying herself while encouraging her when she felt hesitant.

 **M:** "This is pointless."

 **F:** "It seemed like you were having fun."

 **M:** "Well, not anymore."

 **F:** "What happened"

 **M:** "She wouldn't shut up about cats."

 **F:** "Ok...Now, what really happened?"

 **M:** "I can't stop thinking about Jane."

 **F:** "Maura..."

 **M:** "I thought things were fine, but during the week, she barely spoke to me and stopped showing at The Dirty Robber!"

 **F:** "Yeah, I don't know what happened. She's probably focusing on Casey."

 **M:** "I can't even stand hearing his name!"

 **W:** "Maura?!"

The two looked up from their seats.

 **M:** "Wendy?!"

 **W:** "Oh my God! It's really you!"

Maura, still surprised, stood up and hugged her. The last time she saw Wendy was in a surrealist art exhibition. She looked terrific, as usual—even more than how she remembered her. The doctor couldn't believe it had been two years already. Why did they stop hanging out? They used to have so much fun...Then, she remembered. The closest she got to Jane, the less time she made for others. Also, having Wendy courting her all the time, no matter how flattering it was, was getting a little too much. Still, she was quite happy about having run into her. Maura held her hand and led her to the coach, both sitting down.

 **M:** "Frankie, this is Wendy, an old friend. Wendy, this is Frankie"

* * *

Maura woke up, with the light coming from outside. She hated when she slept with her clothes on. The last thing she remembered was Frankie driving her home and she laying on the bed wishing the walls would stop dancing. She stood up, still dizzy, and walked to the bathroom to take a quick shower. She should have stuck with her usual drinks instead of going for cocktails made with clearly cheap ingredients. Taking a look at herself in the mirror made her feel even more miserable. It seemed like she hadn't slept in weeks which, to be honest, wasn't such a lie. Well, at least she wasn't worrying so much about Jane. Then, it hit her. She was actually thinking about her. The doctor shut her eyes, mumbled Frère Jacques and tried to concentrate on something else. Wendy! She still looked stunning; both enjoyed to talk about art, plus Maura felt like she needed a bit of attention and care. Everyone needs to feel loved once in a while, to be reminded how great they are. Although she enjoyed solitude and never had problems with being alone, she needed a self-esteem boost. On another note, taking their history together, maybe Wendy wasn't such a good idea. When they first met, it was impossible to deny their chemistry, but Maura could never be what she wanted nor needed.

Contrary to what many people thought, the doctor wasn't looking for someone with the same interests and level of education as her. If that would happen, then better, but there were traits much more vital in a person. Wendy didn't have any of those. She was a fantastic person but definitely not what she wanted in a partner. Still, they had lots of fun the night before.

Now, dressing up while thinking about the conversation, Maura suddenly got tense. Casey. She couldn't believe she forgot about him. Casey saw them last night. Not too long before they left, she saw him talking to Frankie. Frankie left both of the women alone to get them drinks, and when he returned, they bumped on each other. Maura saw it all happen. The Rizzoli was as puzzled as her to see him there. However, she pretended she didn't see him. It was bad enough having to deal with the idiot when he was with Jane.

* * *

All polished and feeling fresh, the doctor prepared herself to watch the news. Walking to the living room, she slowed down when she saw who she least expected.

 **M:** "Jane?!"

Jane got up from the couch and walked towards her.

 **J:** "Hey. Am I disturbing?"

 **M:** "What? Don't be silly."

 **J:** "Well, in that case, I made you coffee aaaand brought you cannolis."

 **M:** "Yummy! Thanks."

Maura grabbed herself a cup of coffee and food and sat on the kitchen island. Jane sat next to her.

 **J:** "You look tired."

 **M:** "I feel worse."

 **J:** "I...Casey told me he saw you guys last night."

 **M:** "Yeah, me and Frankie really needed some fun."

 **J:** "Since when do you two like clubbing?"

 **M:** "We...we were just trying something different."

 **J:** "Maura, you hate clubbing..."

 **M:** "What was he doing there, anyway?"

 **J:** "Working. I'm the one that should be asking you that."

 **M:** "I-I just...Fine! I wanted to meet new people."

 **J:** "Lesbians?!"

 **M:** "Don't act so surprised. I've told you before about m-"

 **J:** "You did, but I didn't know you still like women!"

 **M:** "People can't change their sexuality, Jane! Some might take time to discover and accept who they are, but they can't change it."

 **J:** "And did you have any lucky? Casey said you seemed quite close with a girl."

Maura was extremely uncomfortable with the situation and tried everything not to look directly at the detective. She also didn't understand why Jane was making such a big deal out of it. She knew her friend hated when she didn't know about what was going on, but she had been so distant it was not like she could expect things to be like before.

 **M:** "Wendy. She's an old friend."

 **J:** "Old friend such as in friend or..."

 **M:** "Just a fling, nothing serious."

 **J:** "You never told me about her."

 **M:** "Really? I must've forgotten."


	6. "How can you be with him?"

Like what hadn't happened in a long time, the two women spent the entire day together. Watching movies and talking nonsense. Maura missed this.

When the doctor came back home with their dinner, she found Jane asleep, laying on the couch. She put the food on the fridge and sat by her side, barely touching her. She pulled the blanket above the detective's shoulders and tucked her in. Doing it made her feel happy and somehow sad all at once. Jane looked so tranquil and buried in her dreams that she couldn't dare to wake her. She loved to see her friend this way—vulnerable without toughening herself up to make it through the day. Maura carefully took a strand of wavy dark hair from her face and placed it behind her ear, then she laid her hand on her shoulder, admiring her. She was the most beautiful person she had ever seen. How could someone be this perfect? With a heart like hers and her looks, she could have anyone she wanted. The fact that she didn't even realize it made her even more precious. The doctor smiled to herself, suddenly, not feeling hungry anymore. She would do anything for this woman. Anything. Whatever she needed, she would give it to her, even if that meant she had to give her space. She couldn't dare to make the slightest mistake and have her out of her life forever. That's why she never did nor would allow her feelings to run freely and why she never acted on them. Maura was high maintenance, and she knew it. Even if her friend weren't straight, she would've never like someone like her. She was too awkward for her—too high class and too strict—too everything Jane wouldn't want in a partner.

Maura felt her, beneath her hand, twitching.

 **J:** "Maura..."

 **M:** "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

Jane placed her hand on the doctor's knee and held her hand, gently stroking it.

 **J:** "I never asked you. How have you been doing?"

 **M:** "Good"

 **J:** "You...You were so excited about the baby."

 **M:** "Jane. You lost the baby, not me."

 **J:** "But you did. You were so happy...You even started renovating the guest room and made me that big ass folder about kid's development through the first months and years."

Maura glanced down, trying to hold her tears back. She had made so many plans for the three of them. The news broke her in pieces, but she never told anyone. Jane was the one needing support and affection, not her.

 **J:** "I never told anyone this, but Casey knew."

 **M:** "What?"

 **J:** "I didn't want the baby to change anything between us, but he had the right to know. I told you I wasn't ready to tell him because I didn't want you to worry about me."

 **M:** "What did he tell you?"

 **J:** "That I had to marry him. Otherwise, I would be on my own."

 **M:** "Jane...How can you be with him?"

 **J:** "I want a family."

 **M:** "You don't need him for it. You didn't need the first time; you don't need him now."

 **J:** "I don't wanna have a child without a father."

 **M:** "You have all of us here to help you. You'll never be by yourself."

 **J:** "I know, but I want my kids to have two parents at home."

Maura slowly removed Jane's hand from her and stopped touching her.

 **M:** "I'm going to eat. Do you want something?"

* * *

 **J:** "Maura don't be silly."

Jane sat on the doctor's bed and stared at her. Maura didn't want her to stay in the guest bedroom because of the baby's bed still being there. Although she donated and archived most of the stuff, she bought with Angela, for some reason she couldn't do it with the cradle, probably because she chose it by herself.

Jane thanked her for staying in her bedroom. What she wasn't expecting was for the doctor not wanting to stay with her.

 **M:** "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

 **J:** "Maura..."

The detective held her hand and led her to the bed. At that point, Maura wasn't strong enough to leave. So, a few minutes after they were laying next to each other.

 **J:** "So, tell me, what's the deal with that, Wendy."

 **M:** "It's really nothing."

 **J:** "But you have history. What happened?"

 **M:** "What always happens."

 **J:** "Explain."

 **M:** "You know how I am. She's attractive; we hung out; she wanted more; I didn't."

 **J:** "Why not?"

 **M:** "It would've been a waste of time. She's not what I'm looking for."

 **J:** "What exactly are you looking for?"

 **M:** "Definitely, not her."

 **J:** "You could at least give the poor girl a chance."

 **M:** "Not gonna happen. And I don't want to hurt her even more."

 **J:** "If you don't try, you won't really know."

 **M:** "Why are you pushing me on this?! I don't like her, and that's it!"

 **J:** "Maur...it's just...you have so many high standards! If the girl likes you give her a chance. It might actually work out!"

 **M**. "Oh! Like you and Casey?!"

Maura lost it. She rarely got frustrated, to the point she would fire back at other people, but it just happened. The conversation got into her nerves. To be honest, she didn't even know exactly what she was feeling at that point.

 **J:** "I-I think I should go."

 **M:** "Jane, I'm sorry."

 **J:** "I'll see you on Monday."

Jane stood up and left without barely looking at her. The doctor hated herself at that moment. She covered her eyes with her hands and took a deep breath. Fuck.


	7. Legs

With heels clicking on the floor while spreading the smell of hot coffee and greasy bacon through the lobby, Maura tried to look for Jane before heading to the morgue.

Worried about what had happened during the weekend, she tried to convince herself everything was fine. Surely, her friend wouldn't still be so upset, right? It was all her fault. This was precisely why she didn't like to speak impulsively. Lately, her emotions became so overwhelming that she couldn't even recognize her actions anymore. Covering how insecure and anxious she felt, the doctor sat on Jane's desk, crossing her legs right in front of her sight. Maura placed the paper bag on top of the paperwork the detective was reading and gave her one of the coffees. Then, she started drinking hers, gaining the courage to speak to a very puzzled Jane.

 **M:** "I got you one of those disgusting bacon things you like."

The doctor got tense when she realized her friend was staring at her legs. While the glare lasted, she felt naked; without understanding, if she felt more embarrassed or lustful. Either way, this was the last place she wanted to feel any of that.

 **M:** "I'm sorry. I've been quite frustrated lately. Not that there's any excuse for my behaviour. I shouldn't have burst on you like that."

 **J:** "It wasn't that bad. I overreacted."

Jane took a sip out of her coffee. Moaning, she took some more.

 **J:** "Oh, Maura. This is really good."

 **M** : "I know how you like your coffee."

 **J:** "You do...I...We're having a family lunch on Saturday. It would mean a lot if you came."

 **M:** "Do you want me to bring anything? I can cook if you want."

 **J:** "Just bring yourself over."

 **M:** "A bottle of wine, it is!"

 **J:** "No, Maura. Don't bring anything."

 **M:** "Well, I want to."

 **J:** "Ok."

Jane chuckled and shook her head. The doctor jumped from where she was and started composing her skirt, quickly realizing her friend was staring at her legs, again. Slightly blushing, she leaned gently against the desk, hoping the detective kept looking; hoping Jane would touch her even if only by mistake. Hoping for a shift to happen and make her fantasies came alive. A girl could always dream...

The detective cleared her throat, bringing her friend back to reality. Abruptly, realizing where she was, Maura flushed harder in regret.

M: "I'll be downstairs if you need me."

* * *

Maura had been staring at the DNA results for at least half an hour, without actually paying any attention to it. Since she caught her friend looking at her legs, she couldn't focus nor think of anything else. Something she hadn't felt in the last months was now felt stronger than ever. She had to have her. It was driving her crazy. The doctor went as far as trying to avoid Jane on days she believed she wouldn't be able to control herself. And last night, she ran until her legs couldn't sustain her anymore, only to suppress the urge to call Wendy for a quick and temporary solution. The doctor murmured and placed her head between her hands, in a failed attempt to concentrate.

 **F:** "Maura!"

Frankie ran into her office and shut the door behind him, walking towards her.

 **M:** "Hey! How was the date?"

 **F:** "I think Jane's announcing the engagement tomorrow."

 **M:** "What? Don't be silly."

 **F:** "I mean it, Maura."

 **M:** "It's too soon. Don't worry about it."

 **F:** "I really mean it."

 **M:** "Look, I know you're worried, and I'm...it's too soon. She would've told me something."

 **F:** "I guess...How's Wendy?"

 **M:** "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

 **F:** "The girl sent you flowers, Maura."

 **M:** "I...I texted her on Monday."

 **F:** "That's good!"

 **M:** "No. No, it's not."

 **F:** "You must've texted her for some reason."

 **M:** "I was weak and made a stupid mistake."

 **F:** "Did you..."

 **M:** "No!"


	8. "What is wrong with you?!"

She barely said a word to Casey.

Reasonable was definitely not how she was acting today. Her courtesy was gone a long time ago, and part of her couldn't stop being competitive with him. The doctor wondered what triggered her possession over Jane to the point where she wanted to destroy Casey. She wanted to show him how she was already part of the Rizzoli family and how everyone embraced her, unlike him, who still seemed alienated around them. She even brought Angela's favourite wine and dessert from the best Italian restaurant in town, mostly to make him realize how little he knew about the only person in the family that actually liked him. On another note, Maura was acting especially attentive about her best friend. Taking every chance to brush lightly against her, touch her forearm and make sure she knew she cared for her. Frankie noticed and smiled at her. Foolishly enough, it made her feel like she was winning the contest against Casey, even if she knew she was the only player. The doctor was being an idiot, but, she didn't care. Besides, she had all the time in the world to feel ashamed and guilty afterwards.

Maura took a sip of her wine and rubbed Angela's arm, laughing at Tommy's anecdote. Then, it happened...

 **J:** "Ok, listen up. The real reason why I wanted you all here is because...Casey and I are getting married."

The doctor froze on the couch, immediately losing her sense of hearing and notion of space and time. It was like the time when she didn't know how to answer in class and ended up collapsing in front of everyone. She could see others hugging Jane and Casey, but her body wouldn't react, nor she knew how to. Her brain was trying hard to make her focus, get up and congratulate them, but it wasn't working. She was too furious to put her needs beneath her friend's wants and to pretend everything was great. Maura allowed herself to be selfish.

 **J:** "Maura?...Please say something."

Jane moved close to her, making the doctor get up and stand in front of her.

 **M:** "What do you want me to say?"

 **J:** "Congratulations would be nice."

 **M:** "Why?"

 **J:** "I...I'm getting married..."

 **M:** "To him?!"

Jane obviously hurt, looked to the floor for a few seconds.

 **M:** "Do you love him?"

 **J:** "Wh-...Maur-"

 **M:** "I just want to make sure this is really what you want."

 **J:** "I-"

 **M:** "Is it?"

 **J:** "Y-yes."

Filled with anger and unable to control her tears anymore, Maura stepped away from her, leaving the wine glass on a table. Then, grabbed her jacket and started to walk out.

 **J:** "Maura..."

 **F:** "Jane, leave her."

* * *

It had passed over 10 hours, and yet the doctor was still holding on to tissue papers. There were no more tears left to cry, but she kept them in case they would start unexpectedly. When she was leaving, she could hear Jane and Frankie arguing with each other, but she didn't know what they were saying. He didn't told her either, and she didn't ask. He just showed up with dinner, and they spent the night complaining about Casey. But, mostly, he made sure she had someone to vent. Now, Maura laid on the couch with her head sitting on his lap. Him, holding her hand and caressing her hair. If someone had told her, last year, they would become so close she would've laughed in disbelief.

 **F:** "There must be something we can still do."

 **M:** "It's over, Frankie."

 **F:** "I hope she made a good decision. Sorry..."

 **M:** "It's ok. I hope too."

 **F:** "I hate to see you like this. What can I do?"

 **M:** "You can tell me more about Linda."

 **F:** "You sure?"

 **M:** "Yeah, and tell her I'm sorry for stealing you for the night."

 **F:** "You can help me find a nice restaurant to take her next week."

 **M:** "My speciality!"

 **F:** "Exactly. You decide."

 **M:** "Do you want it to be elegant or layback romantic?"

 **J:** "What the...I told you to get the hell away from her!"

The doctor jumped as soon as she heard her friend. Frankie reacted the same. Jane hadn't used the spare key in such a long time that Maura completely forgot about it.

 **F:** "It's not what you think."

 **J:** "You, shut up! Why the hell did you leave?"

 **M:** "Jane, I'm too tired for this."

 **J:** "I don't care! You're my best friend. I'm gonna marry. Why can't you be happy for me?!"

 **M:** "I-I..."

 **J:** "What the hell is your problem? Do you want me to be like you? Single forever? Not able to keep a guy for longer than a month? Is this what you want?"

 **M:** "I'm sor-"

 **J:** "No! For how many years do we know each other? Just because you're happy with our night outs and meeting men, it doesn't mean I am. I want to be with someone and have a family. Why is it so hard for you to get it?"

 **F:** "Jane, calm down."

Frankie tried to touch Jane's arm, but she got away from him and moved closer to her friend, invading her personal space.

 **J:** "What is wrong with you? Why can't you be happy for me? Why can't you stop being selfish, and why don't you want me to be happy? Since when are you so damn selfish?!"

Maura had been hyperventilating for a few minutes but seeing Jane, hopelessly, yelling at her made her even dizzier. The last thing she remembered was noticing the detective had tears on her face while trying to support herself on the couch.


	9. She needed to have her

The first thing she was aware of was a hand caressing the right side of her face. Soft and gently. The familiar and warm touch made her feel safe and able to unwind while memories started emerging. Not, yet, sure about the surroundings nor what had happened, Maura kept her eyes shut and held the hand that was comforting her. When she came to her senses, she slowly tried to remove the hand from her. Weak, she began opening her eyes. She was in her bed.

 **M:** "Please, leave."

 **J:** "Maura..."

 **M:** "I mean it, Jane. Go home."

 **J:** "I don't want to."

 **M:** "Where's Frankie?"

 **J:** "You told me you weren't together."

 **M:** "This, again?"

 **J:** "You were talking about dating!"

 **M:** "I was helping him with a girl."

 **J:** "I-I thought-"

 **M:** "Well, you thought wrong."

 **J:** "Why so many secrets? I know I've been an awful friend but...you're my best friend, Maura."

 **M:** "Please..."

 **J:** "Where did I screw up? I wanna fix this. I wanna fix us."

 **M:** "It's not your fault. I'm the problem. I-I think it would be better if we stopped hanging out for a while."

 **J:** "Better for who?!"

 **M:** "Both. I want you to be happy, Jane. I don't want to be the one standing in your away."

 **J:** "You're not!"

 **M:** "I am, and...I don't trust myself around Casey."

 **J:** "Since when do you hate him so much? You used to like him."

 **M:** "Since he took you from me."

 **J:** "Maura, I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere."

Jane tried to reach for her friend's hand, but she pulled away and started to look in the opposite direction.

 **M:** "Please, don't touch me."

 **J:** "Nothing has to change. You know I could never leave you. I'm only getting married. It's not that big of a deal."

 **M:** "But it is!"

The doctor, carefully, stood up and started moving to the suite's bathroom. Jane held her forearm, trying to help her.

 **M:** "Don't touch me. I mean it."

 **J:** "Just tell me what I gotta do...please!"

 **M:** "You really don't get it, do you?"

 **J:** "Then, make me understand."

 **M:** "Close the door when you leave."

When she entered the bathroom, the doctor closed the door behind her.

* * *

For the past days, even if they were acting friendly, the two friends kept things strictly professional. The doctor knew Jane wasn't upset with her, only hurt. It broke her heart seeing her that way but, again, she was hurt herself. Although she had high hopes for the future, taking a break from each other was the best thing to do right now. Both needed time to heal. The detective had to learn how to forgive her, and she had to learn how to control her emotions. Maura didn't want jealousy and resentment to get in the way. She wouldn't be able to forget herself if she lost the most important person in her life. Staying away from Jane was a small sacrifice to make for their relationship to survive. Knowing her friend, she also knew she understood they needed time.

Maura felt too sluggish to walk a few meters to the laboratories, so, she checked the e-mail to see if the results were in. Still in progress. She looked around the office only to see a plant Jane had gifted her last Summer. She smiled, remembering old times. Then, a knock interrupted.

Before she even had time to say a word Wendy walked inside. The doctor stood up and moved near her.

 **M:** "What are you doing here?"

 **W:** "I was walking by and wanted to make sure you received my flowers."

 **M:** "They were lovely. My favourites."

 **W:** "I know. I still remember."

 **M:** "Wendy..."

 **W:** "I'm sorry! Am I scaring you? I didn't mean to come this strong."

Maura chuckled softly.

 **M:** "You've always been quite intense but-"

 **W:** "You're single. I'm single..."

 **M:** "And I still want to be single."

 **W:** "Maura Isles, I'm not expecting anything. I know better than that, but we could spend some time together."

 **M:** "You're very attractive, but I'm not in the mood."

 **W:** "Who broke your heart?"

 **M:** "Why do yo-"

 **W:** "You were in a club with a wingman, and you keep texting me when you're lonely."

When Wendy started caressing the doctor's hair and leaned closer, Maura wondered why she was fighting so hard. Who cared if she made a mistake? She wasn't lying to anyone. She was single. Jane was getting married. Wendy knew she didn't like her...Wendy always knew how to make her feel good. And now, being touched, she decided she wanted to make a mistake-a big one. It wouldn't be a mistake after all. They were both free consenting adults. There was nothing wrong with whatever possibilities were running in her mind.

The doctor made their bodies touch while getting a hold on the woman's blazer, feeling the lapels' fabric. Wendy placed a hand on the desk and with the other brushed the doctor's cheek.

 **M:** "I haven't been touched in quite a while."

 **W:** "What a waste...I want to make you feel like a wom-"

 **J:** "Maura?"

Jane stood by the door in shock, while the two women stopped what they were doing although neither of them completely pulled apart.

 **M:** "Yes, Jane?"

 **J:** "D-do...the lab results?"

 **M:** "They aren't ready."

 **J:** "Oh...ok."

 **W:** "I'm sorry. You are?"

 **J:** "Detective Jane Rizzoli."

 **W:** "Oh! You're Frankie's sister!"

 **J:** "Y-yes. I guess Maura told you about me."

 **W:** "Not really."

 **J:** "Funny, because she never told me about you either."

 **W:** "Yeah, Maura is quite private in what really matters."

 **J:** "Wylie? Sorry, I mean Winnie, I know Maura for a while, if you were that important I would know about you."

 **W:** "Well, I've known her way before you and, yet, you never came up."

The doctor didn't know what to do. She knew both women well enough to know what they were both thinking. Wendy was provoking the detective just for the sake of it. She loved laughing at other's expense. Jane, on the other hand, realized she was being provoked and acted on it.

 **W:** "I don't wanna keep you busy. See you tonight."

Wendy placed a kiss on Maura's face and walked away.

* * *

Maura hadn't seen the detective for the rest of the day. She knew she was still in the building doing overtime because of the new case, but she was nowhere to be found. In the last hour, she fought with Wendy. Not because of what happened earlier, but because she wouldn't stop laughing about how foolish she and Jane were. In Wendy's mind, her feelings were reciprocated. The doctor didn't want to hear any of that. Believing in fantasies and having people feeding those would only make her have faith in something impossible, eventually getting even more hurt. Yet, nothing of that mattered. Frankie told her Jane hadn't eaten since lunch, and that he couldn't find her. So, the doctor brought her dinner and headed to the only place she knew she could find her.

Every time Jane couldn't sleep or was more stressed than usual, she would go to the building's gym in the middle of the night. She enjoying being there when no one was around, usually with most lights off. The doctor had found her many times before, under the dim lights, crying in frustration while boxing.

As soon as she entered the gym, she heard the familiar sound from afar. Maura followed the sound, knowing her friend wouldn't like if she turned on the lights. Jane was aggressively throwing punches.

 **M:** "I got you food."

 **J:** "Not hungry."

 **M:** "If you don't eat, you're gonna throw up."

 **J:** "I don't care."

 **M:** "Well, I do."

 **J:** "You lied to me. You told me you didn't like Wendy."

 **M:** "Because I don't."

 **J:** "You didn't even tell her about me!"

 **M:** "Jane, I haven't talked to her in years."

 **J:** "The way she was touching you said otherwise."

Jane hit the punching bag hard and walked towards her friend.

 **J:** "You seemed to enjoy it."

 **M:** "It meant nothing."

 **J:** "Of course. Everything means nothing to you."

 **M:** "What's that supposed to mean?"

Maura took a step back, feeling her personal space invaded. She hated when her friend was acting like this, frustrated and in pain. She wished she could make things easier for her, but she didn't know how. In the past, the doctor learned that Jane didn't like to be touched nor helped in times like this. She also learned that she, herself, wanted to touch her badly in times like this. No matter how much she wanted to comfort her, Maura couldn't help how her body responded. Like, what happened in the past, Jane leaned dangerously close, making her focus on her sweaty neck and hair. And lips. She couldn't think of anything else. She needed to have her. There.

 **J:** "You don't care about anyone but yourself. You flirt, people fall for you, and you throw them away. You're incapable of loving. Everything means nothing to you. W-we're all tools of you gam-."

Before, being able to finish, Jane made their chests touch and kissed her. Intensely, yet quick and bittersweet. Maura gasped loudly in surprise and pleasure, shutting her eyes and pushing her body even more against her. When she was about to place her hand on her neck to deepen the kiss, Jane, suddenly, jumped away and left. The doctor watched her in disbelief, knowing that now she really had to make her hers, even though she wasn't exactly sure about what had just happened.


	10. "I spoke to Frankie..."

With thoughts running miles per hour, and her body trembling from excitement and determination, Maura stood in front of her friend's apartment door. She gave it three firm, yet cautiously, knocks hoping not to sound too hostile. Rushing Jane would only make her nervous and defensive, which wouldn't do good for either. Also, the reason why the doctor didn't want to use the spare key.

For the last two hours, she moved frenetically in her office, trying to think of the best way to approach her but realized there wasn't one. The only thing she knew is that she had to be fast and bold. If she waited too long, Jane might take it as her being unsure about her. Plus, if she didn't do anything tonight, she wouldn't be able to sleep nor focus on the case they were working on. So, the fastest, the better. Maura heard steps approaching from the other side. She took a deep breath and shut her eyes for a few seconds. It was now or never.

 **C:** "Maura."

The doctor, disappointed, stared at Casey, feeling as if someone had punched her. Of course, he was there. He lived there. What the hell was she thinking? She was so fixated on Jane that it didn't even cross her mind that he was still in the picture.

 **M:** "I need to speak to Jane."

 **C:** "She's taking a shower."

 **M:** "I can wait."

 **C:** "Is this about work?"

 **M:** "No."

 **C:** "What is it, then?"

 **M:** "It's private."

 **C:** "Look, Jane is exhausted. She needs to rest, and I'm guessing, so do you. Go home."

 **M:** "I need to talk to her now."

 **C:** "It's late. You shouldn't be here."

 **M:** "Yes, I should. I need to talk to her privately. It's important."

 **C:** "I'll tell her you passed by. Goodnight."

When the door got shut in her face, the doctor took all of her strength not to cause a scene.

* * *

Maura woke up enraged and more determined than ever. No more cries. Nothing. She knew what she had to do, and she was going to do it. With coffee and breakfast for Jane plus her favourite tight skirt, she quickly made her way at work. As usual, she laid the offerings on her friend's desk and sat on it, crossing her legs in front of her, barely touching her arms. The detective ignored her.

Maura studied her face waiting for a reaction, but when she got none, she knew she had to start.

 **M:** "We need to talk...Do you want to go somewhere quieter?... Can you please, answer?... Jane, I'm trying to make things right, please look at me...Ok, I'll talk firs-"

 **J:** "I want nothing from you. Leave."

Her friend didn't even bother looking at her. Suddenly, quivering and fearful, Maura stared at her hands and played with her watch. A poor attempt to calm herself down and gain the courage to continue. If everything was already lost, she had nothing else to lose.

 **F:** "Jane! Hear her out."

Frankie gave an assuring glance from his desk, making her feel safer. However, she jumped from her place when she heard Jane shouting.

 **J:** "You told my brother?!"

 **F:** "Told what?"

 **J:** "Shut up!"

 **M:** "He doesn't know. Please, talk to me. You can't simply ignore m-"

 **J:** "Watch me."

Not able to hold it any longer, the doctor started crying.

 **M:** "Fine, don't talk to me, but...I went after you. I went after you, and you disregarded me. I wanted to talk...really talk but you didn't even call back."

 **J:** "What the hell are you talking about?"

 **M:** "Last night. I-I thought...I assumed wrong. I thought we could work us out, but you're not interested. I'm a fucking idiot. You're getting married! And I went after you, and that damn blockhead sent me home. I...y-you're getting married."

Sobbing and unable to stop hyperventilating, the doctor left fast-paced. Impulsively deciding to go home.

* * *

It was dark outside.

It was equally dark inside, apart from the television and the small lamps shade by the couch. Maura laid there, in her nightwear, underneath a cosy blanket with a pack of tissues by her side. She took a bath when she got home, drank valerian and chamomile tea to relieve some stress but barely ate anything the whole day. She still wasn't hungry... just a little. Considering what had happened in the morning, she was surprisingly calm, but maybe it was just exhaustion.

The bell rang a couple of times, but the doctor couldn't be bothered. Whoever it was would have to wait. She took today, and the next day off, so, she was a free woman with no obligations at the moment. If it was work, she couldn't care less. When the door opened, she turned her head to see who it was, Jane. Maura, quickly, returned her focus to the television, trying hard to stay calm. Her heart started to beat faster. She didn't want her there; she wanted to be alone in silence. The detective sat on the couch by her feet, taking a few seconds before starting.

 **J:** "I spoke to Frankie..."

 **M:** "Do you know which one of your favourite sauces used to be administered as a medicine for indigestion during the 1830's?"

 **J:** "No."

 **M:** "Ketchup."

 **J:** "I had a long conversation with him."

 **M:** "How's the case going?"

 **J:** "Screw the case. I don't care."

 **M:** "But you should. You're a great detective."

 **J:** "Maura...If I had known I would've nev-"

 **M:** "You couldn't have known."

 **J:** "Y-yes. Yes, I could. I should have realized it. I-I was so terrified of what I was feeling, and thinking I could lose you that I actually lost you, because I was more worried about you finding out what I was hiding than making sure you were happy. It was so obvious! If I had allowed myself to be, in some moments we shared, instead of getting away from them because I was too afraid..."

For the first time, the doctor stared at her friend. Jane was looking at the floor, quietly sobbing.

 **M:** "You didn't lose me."

 **J:** "But I should because I've been treating you awfully."

 **M:** "My actions weren't the greatest either."

Maura placed the blanket away and sat near the detective. One hand on her shoulder and the other rubbing her forearm. Jane stared at her and placed a hand on her leg.

 **M:** "I'm gonna make us some tea."


	11. The Final

Steam escaped from the two stoneware mugs as it got filled with hot liquid. The smell was delicious and homely. It reminded winter evenings laying on the couch, watching bad movies or baseball games.

Maura's whole body tensed up as an icy wave rushed up and down her spine, reaching her loins. With the lights so low, she didn't notice her friend getting closer. She was sure that if she made the slightest move, her back would touch Jane. The doctor instantly licked her lips as they felt dry while feeling the hot breath on the back of her neck.

 **J:** "Is it-"

 **M:** "I know what your favourite tea is, Jane."

 **J:** "How do you always remember these things?"

The doctor licked her lips, again, and allowed herself to chuckle.

 **M:** "It's what I do."

The doctor looked at the mugs for a while and slowly turned around, making her friend take a few steps back to give her space. With her back pressed against the counter, she settled her hands on Jane's sides, tenderly pulling her closer. The detective responded by resting a hand on her shoulder and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear with the other, leaving it on Maura's neck.

 **J:** "What do we do now?"

 **M:** "Everything you want to."

 **J:** "I kicked Casey out before I came here."

 **M:** "What does it mean for us?"

 **J:** "It means that I-I will never leave you."

 **M:** "I won't ever leave you either...Ever."

Jane gazed lovingly into her eyes, moving her face closer, rubbing her cheek against hers. A sense of sadness and regret in her tone.

 **J:** "When did I become so lucky?"

 **M:** "You have no idea how astonishing you are...I...I never thought you could like me. I thought you were straight."

 **J:** "I thought I was too. I think...maybe that's why it took me so long. I was so scared about what I was feeling and tried so hard to keep it down, and then when I couldn't fight it anymore, I was terrified of rejection and losing you."

 **M:** "Jane...I was terrified too. I still am. I'm afraid of making the wrong move and ruin everything, but I can't hold back any longer. I love you so much."

Maura placed one hand on her friend's chest and with the other held onto the shirt near her abdomen. Jane teared up a bit and leaned, so their lips brushed against one another.

 **J:** "I love you."

The doctor felt herself becoming lightheaded. Gasping as Jane's warm tongue pressed against her lips, looking for a way in. She answered immediately by intensifying the kiss, needing to taste more of her friend's warm tongue.

 **J:** "You're gonna need a lot of patience with me. I never...I...you're a woman. This is new territory for me."

 **M:** "That's not a problem, Jane. We will go as slow as you need to."

 **J:** "Well...not that slow."

Both women began chuckling between kisses.

 **M:** "We'll make things up as we go and check how the other is feeling."

 **J:** "Sounds great to me. Aaaand right now I feel like kissing you all over to make it up to you."

Maura flushed hard. Her cheeks turning bright red with the 'all over' remark. She gulped, not sure if from eagerness or shyness. Probably both.

 **J:** "Really? Is this all it takes to get you embarrassed? This is gonna be fun!"

Jokingly, the doctor punched her arm and grinned beneath her mouth.

 **M:** "Shut up and kiss me."

Jane kissed her more confident than before, pressing their chests together and running her hands all over her back.

 **M:** "It's gonna take a lot of kisses for you to make it up to me."

 **J:** "Bossy. I like that."

 **M:** "Well, I'm just starting..."

Suddenly, much to Maura's satisfaction, it was her friend who got bright red this time. The doctor started giggling with the rare moment.

 **J:** "You're too adorable."

 **M:** "And you're too sexy."

Maura wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her eagerly. She wanted to make the best of the night and, to do so, she planned on giving Jane everything she might be comfortable with. One of her hands sliding down to her friend's shirt neckline, fighting against the urge to reach for her breasts. When she felt the detective's hand coming in contact with the skin on her back, she realized that Jane was presumably more comfortable than what she was expecting.

 **A:** "Girls!"

Breathless, the two women stopped. Maura was so consumed in lustful emotions that her body and brain didn't have time to process what was happening. All she could think was how badly she wanted Angela to leave so she could close the gap between her and Jane. Meanwhile, the detective looked annoyed, as if throwing a fit.

 **J:** "Ma! Can't you knock for once!"

 **A:** "Well, I guess I'll have to from now on. I'll leave you two at it, and we'll talk tomorrow."

 **J:** "There's nothing to talk about!"

 **A:** "Jane Clementine Rizzoli! That's not how I raised you! If you have a girlfriend, we have a family dinner and make it official. And you make an honest woman out of her!"

 **M:** "Angela-"

 **A:** "It's late, I don't wanna hear it! And you too Maura make an honest woman of her. Now, if any of you hurt the other, you're gonna have to answer to me."

 **J:** "Ma! Just go!"

 **A:** "Ok, I love you too. You better make me proud Janie. I can't wait to call aunt Elisa!"

Jane pressed a hand against Angela's back, blandly pushing her to the door. When her mother stepped outside, she closed it in her face. Maura couldn't stop laughing, watching the two. The Rizzoli's were indeed another breed. And it was all because of Angela...

Still, a bit annoyed, the detective pressed her friend against the counter and held her firmly.

 **J:** "So, where were we?"

 **M:** "Everywhere and nowhere."

Maura got confused by her own words. She wasn't exactly sure what it meant, but they simply flew out. Chuckling, the detective kissed her, almost possessively. Unlike before, their kisses were slow as if they were in slow motion. For some reason, the light strokes from their tongues meeting made Maura even more aroused than earlier. She could hardly feel her whole body and believed it was only a matter of time until her legs gave in. Neither laughed anymore. Their breathing got faster and sultrier.

 **J:** "I-I guess things will go faster than I thought."

Unable to open her eyes nor stop, the doctor murmured something inaudible, completely surrendering to her emotions and bodily desires. Trembling, and gasping louder as Jane's hands slipped underneath her nightwear, wandering painfully slow against her middle skin. Then, they slid upwards, resting just below where her breasts would start. She wasn't touching them yet. Maura understood she was admiring the moment while trying to gain the courage to continue. She bit the inside of her mouth, knowing how close she was. Resting her head on Jane's neck, she tasted the area, not knowing what else to do anymore. She was going to make her hers but not right now. Jane was setting the pace and boundaries, and if they kept going onward, Maura would have to be the first getting taken care of. It wouldn't take much. She was already on edge. The detective inhaled deeply. Her heart and body pounding hard against Maura. Then, she continued.

* * *

-The End-


End file.
